Real-Life Dungeon Master: Lockpicking Skills

 

Image Description: A woman with long brown hair stands in the stacks of a library. She is wearing tight low-rise black jeans, with a metal chastity belt underneath, parts of which are clearly visible over the waistband of her jeans. She is holding an enormous hardcover book: Advanced Lock Picking by Steven Hampton.

Caption: “Master says that if I want to improve my rogue’s lockpicking skills, then I really have to put in the work. And he even gave me a little extra motivation!"

All Cops Are Bodyjacked

Image Description: A young woman wears a small NYPD t-shirt and nothing else. She has her legs spread open to expose her hairless pink pussy, and is pointing at it with both hands. She has long brown hair and a surprised or distressed expression on her face. 

Caption: “All right? Does this look all right to you?!”

“I mean, mine’s not quite so petite and hairless, but...”

“Very funny, Karen. Maybe we can arrange for these bodyjackers to switch you with some little boy, see how you like it!”

“You’re not little, Frank. You’ve got to be at least nineteen, maybe twenty. You’re going from sergeant to sorority girl!”

“S-stop it! It’s nuh—it’s n-not...”

“Aw, jeez, Frank, don’t cry. Come on. I’m sorry, partner.” 

“I’m nuh-nuh-never gonna g-get my b-body back!”

“Don’t say that. The whole force is on this. Here, blow your nose.”

“S-seventy percent of b-bodyjacking victims never see their b-bodies again!”

“Yeah, but they’re not decorated police sergeants. Your prints are on file, your face is on the news. We’ll find your body, don’t worry.”

“W-what if we don’t? L-look at me, Karen! I’m younger than my d-daughters!”

“Then you already know what to expect, don’t you? And you’ve got two great young women to help you through it. Plus your partner. Being a woman isn’t so bad, Frank. And most people would give up a limb to be thirty years younger. Maybe not that limb, but still.”

“I guess you’re r-right. Even if y-you’re being kind of a b-bitch about it.”

“Frank!” 

“What? It’s not s-sexist for me to say that now.”

 “Yeah, you’re gonna be fine, Frankie. Francine? Oh, we’ll figure it out.”

Ball Handling

 

Image Description: A young woman with long light brown hair stands in a basketball court with her legs spread wide. She is wearing a bright red sports bra, red-and-white shorts with a Louis Vuitton-style pattern on them, and white sneakers. She is holding a basketball in each hand, looking at the ground with an expression of concentration. 

Caption: “Coach said if I could handle these two balls on the court, then he might give me back the ones in my shorts.”

Cheat Codes

 

Image Description: A young woman sits on a couch holding an XBox 360 controller and wearing a gaming headset. She has long, dark brown hair coming down over her left shoulder, and very large bare breasts sticking out of the bottom of her turquoise spaghetti-string top. 

Caption: “Try all you want to distract me,” Jayden said. “Using those magic cheat codes is just an admission that you can’t beat me in a fair fight. But now you’re gonna get beat down by the hottest girl on Earth!”

Taking a short break

Life's been kicking my butt lately, but I've been training for round two. Until then, I'm going to take a little breather and catch my second wind. Won't be more than a couple of weeks, I promise. 

See you soon!

Purity Spell: Bombshells

Image Description: Two women are standing mostly naked in a blue-walled bedroom next to a large white bed. One woman, who has long brown hair, is bent over, with her hands on her thighs, with her large breasts hanging free, and she’s looking at the camera with a smile on her face. The other woman is standing behind the first, with her hands on the first woman’s butt, positioned as though they were having doggy-style sex. The second woman has long blonde hair and very large breasts, and is looking down at her body with an expression of joyous surprise. The brunette is wearing clear plastic heels, and the blonde is wearing white heels.

Caption: “Wow, I can’t believe it worked!!”

“What did I tell you? My parents installed this old purity spell after the first time I brought a guy home. Joke’s on them: I’m super bi!”

“God, my tits are huge!”

“You bet they are. ‘Busty Blonde Bombshell’ is the default setting.”

“Not complaining. Except...it’s not permanent, is it?”

“Hell no! There’s no way my parents could afford that many daughters!”

“So why’d they keep it when you moved out?”

“They don’t know how to turn it off. I can’t imagine what will happen if they ever try to sell the place.”

“Hey, you changed too! I thought purity spells only affected guys.”

“I made some adjustments. My dad uses the same password for everything.”

“But why change yourself? You looked fine!”

“I know, but I’m not going out with boyfriend looking hotter than me! Now get dressed. If tonight goes well, I think you might reconsider making this just a temporary change.”

Commentary: I think the Purity Spell is maybe the best idea I've had.

AF: Totally Over

Image Description: A young woman sits naked on a brown carpet, with her long brown hair touching the tops of her breasts. She has her elbows resting on her knees and her hands on her head, with a distressed expression on her face. Between her legs is a small, hairless cock and balls.

Caption: Ohmigod, what am I gonna do? The only reason I even put on that stupid amulet was to make my boobs bigger! Instead I accidentally touched my brother’s gross underwear, and now I’ve got this—this thing for, like, twelve whole hours! I can’t go out with Kyle Stillman with a—with
one of these! My life is totally, completely over!

Commentary: Normally I leave the watermarks and stuff in images, because I think it's important to credit image sources (I wouldn't want someone to take my name off of my captions, after all). I've partially blacked out the name of the website this comes from, since it's kind of a gross slur. If you'd like to visit the site, I think it's easy enough to figure out what it says there if you try.

Every Problem Has a Solution

Image Description: A brunette woman is standing in a library with her hair pulled up into a bun. She is wearing glasses and nothing else, and is holding a large book open, reading it.

Caption: There was no need to panic. The answer was sure to be in one of these books. Every problem has a solution.

For example, when Shaun’s girlfriend Nicole wanted to indulge her exhibitionist streak, he cast a spell so she no longer needed to wear clothes.

When Nicole got in trouble for being naked, Shaun cast a spell so no one would notice anything strange about her.

When Nicole started feeling insecure about her body, Shaun cast a spell to give her the perfect figure.

When Nicole got upset that he’d made her look like her roommate, Shaun cast a spell to calm her down.

When Nicole calmly asked Shaun to undo the spells, Shaun said he’d have to do some research to learn how, and until then she’d have to live with them.

When Nicole decided that Shaun should be the one living with the unwanted spells, she cast a reversal charm to transfer their effects to him.

Now Shaun wants his body back, and his emotions, and his clothes, and nobody can tell that he has a problem.

But it’s okay, every problem has a solution. And it has to be here someplace. Shaun just has to stay calm. Not that he has much of a choice in the matter.

Unintentional Trait Swapper

Image Description: A woman with dark hair pulled back into a ponytail is sitting on a beach. She has tanned skin and small breasts, and she is wearing red bikini bottoms and a silver belly button ring. She has a shocked expression on her face and is looking at a woman who has long blond hair, pale skin, and much larger breasts, who is wearing pink bikini bottoms.

Caption: “Hey! Those are my boobs!”

“What? Oh! Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

“You’re one of those trait swappers, aren’t you? Give them back!”

“I can’t!”

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t’?”

“I don’t know how to control the ability yet! I see something I want, and—poof!—I have it!”

“Well, poof  them back!”

“I’d have to want those tits! But I don’t want any tits! I was a dude until I checked out a girl with this body! If I could fix it, I would!”

“Wait, so why’d you come to a topless beach?”

“Oh, wow, would you look at the time? Catch you later!”

Just one more slice...

Image Description: A young woman with smoky eyes, dark full lashes, and long black hair lays on her stomach on a couch, looking over a pizza box with several slices of pepperoni pizza in it, biting her lip. She is wearing a light blue tank top and a similarly-colored thong.

Caption: “Ugh, I can’t believe this,” Savina said, hanging up her cell phone. “I’ll be right back. Don’t touch my pizza; last time you ate the whole thing.”

“You can’t stop me,” Al replied, eyeing the hot pepperoni pie.

“I can make you regret it.” Savina waved her hands over the pizza and spoke a few magic words. “See you in fifteen, twerp.”

Al rolled his eyes and grabbed a slice as soon as Savina was out the door. He wolfed it down, and his clothes changed immediately. His t-shirt and jeans morphed into a powder blue tank top and matching thong panties. They rode up uncomfortably, but if Al knew his sister, the spell would have changed his whole wardrobe in the same way.

After the second slice, his black hair cascaded down to his back, and his eyelashes became longer and fuller. He suspected that he was completely made up, and there’d be no removing it with soap or wipes. The third slice swelled his butt and hips, narrowed his shoulders, and melted his body hair,
leaving him smooth and slim and curvy. Slice number four gave him swelling breasts, too big to strap down or hide with baggy shirts, and he could feel his manhood shrink to a comical size. He spread out on the couch, feeling his tiny stiffness pressing into the cushions as he looked into the box.

“Maybe just one more slice,” he said...

Something Borrowed

Image Description: A young woman with long red hair adorned with a brown headband with a silver star sits in a bright red chair. She is wearing a white wedding dress, a silver necklace and braided silver bracelet, and a big silver and jeweled ring. She is looking down, with her skirt hiked up by her right hand, and her left hand is wrapped around her slim, erect cock.

Caption: Christine can't wait to show Massimo the little something she borrowed for their wedding night. Hopefully he's up to try something new...

Potty Training

Image Description: Three women are standing in a bedroom, bent over a bed, next to a wastebasket. All three have their pants pulled down slightly to expose their oversized diapers. The two girls on the left have one hand on their diapers, as if in distress. The girl on the left has brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, and is wearing a gray sweatshirt, a pink shirt underneath, a blue diaper, dark gray pants, and bright pink socks. The girl in the middle has long blonde hair, a gray hoodie with writing on the back, a purple shirt underneath, a blue diaper, purple capris, and white ankle socks. The girl on the right has dark brown hair and is wearing an off-the-shoulder pink top with a white cami underneath, a white diaper with a green stripe down the middle, and black pants.

Caption: Mrs. Stevens was at her wit’s end. Halfway through the school year, and the Beta Tau Gamma fraternity house next door had to reclassify itself as a sorority thanks to her spells. She’d hoped that would put a stop to the raucous parties, but if anything, they’d only gotten worse! Loud boys coming in and out at all hours, that head-splitting noise they called “music” nowadays, and the filth. Sure, they couldn’t relieve themselves on her prize bluebells anymore, but these—well, you could hardly call them ladies, could you?—would just hike up their skirts (not that they needed to hike them very far, mind you, even in this weather) and squat right there in the yard when the party was on. The snowy yard was still splotched with yellow patches after their last little soirée. So she rolled up her sleeves and hit the spellbooks. She’d raised five lovely children, so she knew a thing or two about discipline. Sometimes if you wanted a child to learn a bit of self-control, you had to take some control away. The sisters next door had a lot of growing up to do, but Mrs. Stevens supposed that if they behaved themselves, she might even put them back in their big girl panties by the time Spring Break rolled around.

Commentary: This is a sequel to Watering the Flowers, and won't be the last we see of Mrs. Stevens or the fratgirls next door...

Full Coverage

Image Description: A woman with long, crimped blond hair is bent over in front of a jet of water coming down from above. She is topless, holding the bottom of her magenta swimsuit down around her thighs so that the jet can soak her backside. She has a small Playboy bunny tattoo just above her pubic region.

Caption: After last year's back hair incident, Ralph made sure to get complete coverage when he showered at the NuYou Resort.

Commentary: And here's the last New Content Friday because from here on out, every post is new content! Look forward to two more new caps next week!

Also, any similarities between the NuYou Resort and Bikini Beach are purely coincidental.

Something Different

Image Description: A very pregnant woman with shoulder-length auburn hair sits cross-legged on a bed, with a quizzical expression on her face. She is wearing a pair of green pajama pants with white spots, and a gray t-shirt that completely exposes her round belly.

Caption: Greg’s wife Anna loved to magically change her appearance challenge him to identify what was different. He’d gotten pretty good, even when she clouded his senses. So this time she tried something a little different.

“Hm,” Greg said, looking at her quizzically, shifting to accommodate his now-huge belly. “I don’t think it’s your hair, and I think your eyes are the same...is it your nose?”

Anna smirked. He’d get there eventually.

Commentary: And here it is, the last post left from the ol' Tumblr. Which means I no longer have a nice little archive to pull from every week. I've banked quite a few captions over the months, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to burn through it too quickly. So starting next week, I’ll be updating twice a week instead of three times, and it’ll probably be Monday and Friday. Bookend your work week with all-new captions!

Fucking Sirens

Image Description: A naked woman with her blond hair in a bun stands on a beach with her arms akimbo, looking down at a dog standing on a large rock. The dog is looking down at the rock.

Caption: “Well, you should feel bad, Keith! You’re the one who pissed off those sirens, and now look at us! You’re a dog, I’m a chick, and we’re stranded on this desert island with no hot guys for miles! I mean no people! Not hot guys, guys aren’t hot, I’m straight! I mean, there’s nobody around, no muscular bodies, with big, hard—shit! Fucking sirens! Fucking Keith! Fucking...fucking...mmm...

Dammit, I’m gonna look for some bananas.”

Commentary: One more to go...

Effective Security

Image Description: A woman with long brown hair and a tattoo on her side is standing naked on a sidewalk next to a large black-and-chrome motorcycle with a flame pattern on it.

Caption: "You been bragging about yer bike's fancy new security system, Ripper," Hog scoffed. "But I touched it and I ain't heard nothin'."

Commentary: Just one more week of old content left to post! It's terrifying!

Juicy Melons

Image Description: A woman with shoulder-length dark hair lies on a pile of small watermelons in a greenhouse full of melon plants. She is smiling at the camera, and her large breasts are squished by the melons she's lying on. She's wearing a bikini top that's green on one side and red-and-black striped on the other, and it's barely able to contain her breasts.

Caption: Not all genies are mischievous tricksters, slyly twisting words and granting wishes for their own amusement. Some have good intentions and are eager to please. Ken here found just such a genie, and she was clever enough to know when Ken made his wish that the wish's key phrase "juicy melons" had multiple meanings.

So she gave him both kinds, just in case, and Ken couldn't be happier with them!

Commentary: I saw another picture from this same picset done by another caption writer recently. It's a really great set for caps.

Oblivious

Image Description: A woman with long brown hair up in a messy bun is reading a book on a table in a library. She is wearing glasses, black boyshort underwear with white trim, and a gray button-up midriff top that exposes a lot of cleavage. She's on top of the table on all fours, with her butt raised in the air.

Caption: "I know the reversal spell is in here somewhere," James thought. "I've got to find it before this slut curse starts affecting my mind!"

Feeling Patriotic

Image Description: A woman with light brown hair pulled into a ponytail wears an American flag-patterned bikini and stands on a dock near a pond. She has her hands on her chest and has an annoyed look on her face.

Caption: The state of politics today had Louis feeling pretty down on the Fourth of July. Thankfully his witchy neighbor Katy had just the spell to get him feeling more patriotic. Or dressing the part, at least.

Commentary: Happy Independence Day to my American fans!

No Tip

Image Description: A woman with long dark hair stands at an open door holding a pizza box. She is wearing a tight white tank top and lace-topped pink panties with thin white stripes. She has a tribal tattoo on her lower back, peeking out over the tops of the panties.

Caption: Wanda sighed audibly when she saw the address attached to this pizza. Jeff Andrews never tipped, but he loved to harass the female delivery drivers. She couldn't make him more generous, but with a little magic, Wanda made sure that Jeff couldn't stiff anyone again.